Thursday, September 26, 2013

All New X-men #17 PREVIEW - New Details and Crazy Theories

It used to be pretty easy to figure out who the bad guys were in comics. If they had mustaches, sinister eyes, or were a horribly racist stereotype, then there really wasn’t much room for confusion. A guy like me could read a comic high as fuck and still figure out who needed to an omega level kick to the balls. Then Marvel had to get fancy with events like Civil War where heroes fight heroes and nobody was completely evil. It forced readers like me to be a lot more sober when assessing the story. This had its share of drawbacks, but it has led to complex and engaging stories.

X-men: Battle of the Atom is attempting to be more than just another clash between mutants and giant robots. It took pages right out of Civil War and Back to the Future, pitting past X-men with future X-men. But at around the halfway point in the story, it takes the kind of turn that will twist perceptions like a bad hit of LSD. Now there’s reason to believe that the future X-men who sounded all noble and righteous in trying to save the future might be lying out their asses. That reason was basically confirmed by the end of Wolverine and the X-men #36. Somebody here isn’t telling the truth and if a drunk like me can see that, then something done gone horribly wrong.

So far, details on what that horrible something is are vague at best and non-existent at worse. Fans tend to come up with some pretty fucked up theories when they aren’t given specifics. I’m sure there is already a contingent of fans that believe every one of the future X-men are Skrulls. But the next issue in Battle of the Atom, which happens to be All New X-men #17, adds some details to just how fucked the O5 X-men may be as Magik takes O5 Beast and Iceman to the future to meet yet another team of X-men. CBR recently posted a preview of issue, but it’s only going to raise more questions than answers.

CBR: All New X-men #17 PREVIEW

And for the record, it doesn’t discount the Skrull theory. I honestly don’t think there will ever be a Marvel event where some segment of fans don’t suspect that Skrulls are involved.


I’m going to try and not jump to conclusions, but since I’m a drunk I would probably have better luck passing a breathalyzer test on St. Patrick’s Day. If these are the real X-men, then those future X-men trying send the O5 back to the past might as well be the Brotherhood or something like them. This future where X-men and killer robots live in harmony must not be enough for them. It also implies that the O5 X-men actually do some good by staying in the present. And who the hell wants to tell a bunch of teenagers that they made the right call in defying what a bunch of competent adults tell them?

But what may be just as confusing is the brother/sister moment between Magik and Colossus. I seem to recall Magik trolling Colossus so horribly after Avengers vs. X-men that he would snap her neck and draw dicks on her face in permanent marker rather than accept her Soul Sword. Magik is still supposed to be the demon loving bitch that probably haunts Pat Robertson’s nightmares/wet dreams. Yet here she hugs the same brother she basically gave the finger to? I know teenage girls aren’t known for being rational, but this is pushing it.

At the very least, this preview gives me more reason to suspect that Xavier and his pack of future “X-men” are full of shit. One of them may still be a shape shifter. One of them may be using advanced telepathy to fuck with their perceptions. Or maybe there’s no shape shifting and telepathy at all and they’re just flat out lying. Whatever the case, they’re fucking with the O5 X-men in some way and they’re going to try and screw them over. Because that’s what happens in a book about heroes fighting heroes. When they’re not trying to bang each other, they’re trying to screw each other over and it looks like Battle of the Atom will have plenty of screwing for multiple timelines. Nuff said!

13 comments:

  1. I think magik died in the future and that's why peter has her sword, really hope that we get to see the x-men's kids and I think the girl with the panther is storm's daughter!!

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    1. That's a distinct possibility. And I really hope we don't have to revisit the Storm/BP relationship. That was the only good thing to come out of AvX.

      Jack

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    2. I wonder if it'll end up where he killed her, which he said he would when they last talked, and even told Storm to do it if they met, and it drove him crazy and in denial. That Colossus tells himself that his sister gave him the sword to hide from the possible truth.

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  2. Yeah i prefer her with wolverine so hopefully that's his kid

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  3. It is also good to see that peter and illyana have missed eachother

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  4. Or its something fishy about this "X-men". There are alredy some things realy suspitious:
    1:Colossus dont want to kill Magik, even after that bitch did to him and Kitty.
    2:Quentin Quire and Phoenix force together? Even separate are both bad news (he's bad news, Phoenix is nightmare),but together- unchained Nuclear warhead.
    3:Working together with Sentinels? SENTINELS?!?+somebody in Sentinel-Iron-man hybrid armor? Now it realy stinks.

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    1. He probably already killed her and it drove him crazy.

      The "giving the sword to him" is probably a delusion he's having to hide from what might be the truth.

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    2. well, about the Phoenix, i think that given the mental state of Xorn, he is the lesser of two evils.

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    3. It is fairly obvious why Illyana did what she did to Colossus. Don't forget that before she got rid of the "Old ones" she came back from the future after having seen something terrible. There was also this whole prophesy of sorts that she would destroy the world. Now, we see the whole "destroy the world/universe" all the time but this time it seemed more permanent since it actually had rattled Illyana.

      So after having come back from the future she acts really darkly. She is imprisoned but says that she will do what she have to do no matter what. Queue more foreshadowing. Now her brother doesn't care if she is a demon or dooms the world... we have seen that he will kill people that are like family to him if it saves his sister. Less obvious are Illyana's love for him though. Still, she is a brocon she is as obsessed with him as he is with her. She would die for him, but at the same time she knows that her dark side is... REALLY evil. Well, she is evil. it is the nature of her soul after all.

      Anyway, so she causes him grief so that he will finally be able to kill her. She WANTS him to hate her so that eh can kill her. It is her whole Xanatos Gambit. In short. She makes him hate her so that he can kill her. When he kills her she will thank him and he will get her sword.

      So I don't know if you can call her a "bitch".

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  5. Anyone else think Xorna could be Hope? They have a similar fashion sense and it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to think that Hope "synched" with Jean and that's why she needs the helmet, to make sure she doesn't copy cat someone else's power and lose her "jean."

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  6. http://avengersandxmen.wikia.com/wiki/All_New_X-men_Vol_1_17

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  7. My Theory...

    1.- Colossus Kills Magik. And his sister in re-great for all the bad this she did to him, gives him the sword. Something for the remember.
    2.- The Evil X men, are indeed the new brotherhood. Active since the Dazzler murder. They have lost the faith in xavier dream. Is so obvious when Dazzler is murded, beast is angry and dissapointed of the mindkind.
    3.- Kimera is obviously Storm/BP daugther.
    4.- I bet than No-IronMan is related with Forge, Cypher or the new guy in the Cyclops team, than can speak whit the machines.
    5.- XornLady, Hope?? Naaah...Hope is the future Stryfe. Xorn is the bitch-phyco-past version of Jean Gray.

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    1. All the bad things? Did I miss something? The only "bad" thing she did to him was to let him become the Juggernaut and then not remove it immediately. Sure he became a murderous monster when he was the Juggernaut, but that was only one thing she did. What else did she do?

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