I've done a series of blog posts recently on the various pages of All New X-men #1 that Marvel has spoon fed the web. The first time was basically a glorified teaser, which is not too outrageous for a comic company to do. The second time took it a step further, spoiling the whole fucking ending. You would think by now that All New X-men #1 is more spoiled than a tun sandwich left in a locked car for three days in Phoenix, Arizona. Well what's a little food poisoning and violent diarrhea at this point? This past week, Marvel has spoiled yet more panels that spoil way more than the ending.
The biggest revelation, which is probably the least surprising revelation since Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted to banging Bridget Nielson when it was still something to brag about, is that Cyclops apparently got paroled from prison. And Emma Frost also managed to suck enough dicks to get pardoned. So they're free, they're hanging out with Magneto, and making it clear that the Avengers and the X-men that joined them can go fuck themselves.
And if the message wasn't clear enough, Cyclops gives them the finger in a very creative X-men style way.
It may be a cheap spoiler, but it is a major spoiler in the sense that we know how the shit unfolding in Avengers vs. X-men Consequences ends. Cyclops doesn't just break out of jail. He jumps right back into action and doesn't give a sliver of a fuck that he's still a fugitive. It's the kind of badass usually reserved for Wolverine, but Wolverine's badassery has been since replaced by douche-baggery as was so eloquently described in Avengers vs. X-men Consequences #2. So not only was Cyclops right, but he's also brazen enough to bust out of jail and continue fucking with the Avengers. Excuse me. I just teared up a little.
But as nice as it is to see Cyclops and what's left of the Extinction Team kicking around, it does raise some additional and possibly distressing questions. Namely, what the fuck is Cyclops doing that has the rest of the X-men thinking his younger self would be so disgusted? In the previews, it looks like he's saving mutants and/or throwing himself into anti-mutant rights to bust some heads. How is that shit against anything Xavier taught him? Is it because he's doing it with Magneto, a former stripper, and a teenage girl who was possessed by a demon? Fuck, why would anyone be disgusted by that. Hell, that just shows a commitment to teaching former villains to kick ass!
Another issue that hasn't been addressed is the Cyclops/Emma relationship. I've bitched about it a lot on this blog and made no bones about it. After the events of Avengers vs. X-men, these two should at the very least should take a break from making pornos. When Emma tried to convince Cyclops to burn the world to a crisp and when Cyclops ditched Emma to find Hope, that's shit that even Dr. Phil would say is unhealthy. Now Marvel has yet to clear up whether their relationship is over or if they're just going to sweep everything under the rug like they always do so they can keep pretending that these two somehow share a love that's deeper than your typical porno. But if these two are still together after the sheer recklessness with which they've handled them lately, it'll only prove that the writers at Marvel have stopped giving a damn.
I'm trying to be optimistic. Seeing Cyclops out of jail and giving the finger to the Marvel universe that screwed him over is more than enough to warrant buying multiple copies of this comic. We already know the Original Five are going to clash with their modern counterparts. This just promises to make that clash all the more awesome. Nuff said!